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THE 



m LIFE AND SUFFERINGS 



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m MISS EMMA COLE, 



*^ BEING A FAITHFUL NARRATIVE OF HER LTP^E. 



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WRITTEN BY HERSELF. 



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SECOND EDITION. 






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1 



BOSTON: 

PUBLISHED BY M. AURELIUS, 
1844. 





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" I fell upon my knees and liesought him to spare me, a poor friendless 
orphan." Sec page 13. 



THE 



LIFE AND SUFFERINGS 



MISS EMMA COLE, 

\\ 
5EING A FAITHFUL NARRATIVE OP HER LIFE 

WRITTEN BY HERSELF. 



^ SECOND EDITION. 



^ 



BOSTON; 
PUBLISHED BY M. AURELIUS. 

1844. 






>^i). 44- 

Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1844, 

By M. Aurelius, 

In the Clerk's office of the District Court for the District of Massachusetts. 



A. J. WRIGHT, PRINTER, BOSTON. 



LIFE AND SUFFERINGS OF 

MISS EMMA COLE. 



Reader, — dispensing with an introduction, I will 
enter at once upon the history of my Life and Suf- 
ferings ; and although in many cases it may afford us 
but Uttle satisfaction in taking a retrospective glance of 
our past life, yet with myself it is a source of much real 
pleasure to turn 0V|er the pages in the volume of events 
of my chequered life, treasured in my memory, and to 
thank the great Author of my being, who has carried 
me safely through so many trying scenes. 

I was born in the State of Maine. And although my 
parents were poor, they were honest. My father gained 
a livelihood for his family by cultivating a small piece 
of land, and occasionally fishing. Being the only child 
of my parents I was their idol. Beneath their parental 
roof I lived in my innocence, happy and contented, and 
sorrow was a stranger to my buoyant heart. I would 
that the conscious delights of those days had never 
departed from me ; but alas ! my father became a prey 
to a consumption, and then could perform but little 
labor ; and it was with much difficulty my poor mother 
could support us, I being quite young, then only about 
1* 



6 LIFE AND SUFFERINGS 

five years of age. -For two years previous my father 
grew worse ; at last he paid the debt of nature. His loss 
preyed on my mother, and threw her into a fever, and 
she survived him only about three months and then 
she too left me, giving me the best of advice. It was 
a solemn time for me, and I shall never forget the 
grief of my little bosom at that moment when she closed 
her eyes in death. I said within myself, would that I 
could have died for her. Alas ! I was now left alone 
to drift upon the wide waters of the world, having neither 
house nor home ; for the premises improved by "my 
parents were only hired, and the little personal property 
they had went to defray the expenses of sickness. Being 
poorly clad, 1 hardly knew where to wander ; but an old 
friend of my father's, by the name of Smith, offered 
me an opportunity to come and live in. his family. I 
immediately embraced the opportunity, and was treated 
well, but it did not seem like my father's house. I had 
to do the drudgery for all the family ; that I was willing 
to do, even any thing that lay in my power, to make 
them satisfied and contented. 

Time passed on, and I found myself in my fourteenth 
year. It was my study to make all around me happy 
and contented. I very seldom left to go anywhere, 
except to ,Gfe«rcli, . and there I could go but seldom, 
most always on Sundays having to take care of the 
children, in order that the family might attend. I re- 
mained quite happy, until a young man in the neigh- 
borhood, by the name of Hackley, one day as the rest 
of the family were away from home, came to the house. 
Standing high in the estimation of this world, having 
rich parents and relations, and being quite handsome, 



OF MISS EMMA COLE. 7 

he thought thg.t all must obey him at his request or 
command. As soon as he was aware that I was alone, 
and knowing also that I was a poor orphan, he con- 
ceived the thought of robbing me of all that makes life 
valuable — character. But I resisted to the utmost of 
my strength and abilities ; and I succeeded in frustrating 
his fiendish schemes. After this I left the house, and 
fled to one of the nearest neighbors, intending to expose 
him ; but as I arrived there, I found the family were 
engaged with somQ newly arrived friends, and there- 
fore I concluded to defer it until a more convenient 
time. I stopped there a short time and returned home. 
The family had just arrived a few moments before me, 
but they also had brought with them some of their 
friends, and I had not an opportunity to expose the 
villain. I immediately went about my customary em- 
ployments, and in a few hours there came two persons 
to the house, who desired to speak privately with Mr. 
and Mrs. Smith, and they all went into another room 
by themselves. As they spoke rather loud, I could 
perceive that Mr. and Mrs. Smith were quite angry, 
but could understand only a little that was said ; 
I heard my name several times repeated. At last 
they came out and went into several rooms, and then I 
was taken aside, and totally confounded by the dec- 
laration, that I had stolen and secreted their silver 
spoons. I declared upon my honor I had not taken 
them. They said that I was an imposter, that I was 
not to be believed, and that 1 had broken several 
locks, and taken articles not belonging to me, some 
of which were secreted in my trunk. I resolutely 



b LIFE AND SUFFERINGS 

denied every charge, but "was told, that as they had 
detected my dishonesty, I must quit their house, for 
they could no longer harbor an imposter. I fell on 
my knees at their feet, and called heaven to witness 
that I was innocent of the dreadful charges they had 
made, and implored them not to cast me oif ; but their 
hearts appeared as hard as adamant ; they said they 
would not listen to any words, for they had caught 
me already in several falsehoods, and therefore would 
hear nothing more from me ; and giving me my bonnet 
and shawl, desired me to quit their house immediately, 
and never let them see me again. 

I arose with a bursting heart, and made my way out of 
the house. I wandered a few steps, and fainted. When I 
revived, it was with much difficulty that I could convince 
myself but that it was a dream ; but alas, I soon found 
that it was reality. I wandered about until it was quite 
dark. Not knowing whither I had strayed, I came 
to a miserable looking hut and knocked at the door. 
An old lady came to the door and wished to know . 
what I wanted. I told her that I had lost my way, 
and did not know where 1 was, and inquired how 
far it was to Mr. Smith's. She told me it was 
about five miles, and asked me to walk in. I was 
glad of the invitation, for it had been raining most of 
the afternoon, and I had got completely drenched. 

I Avas glad even to find this shelter, although it was 
a wretched looking place. There stood a small pine 
table in the middle of the floor, and on it a candle and 
a few roasted potatoes, and a little cold meat ; without 
bread, cakes, pie or tea. In the fireplace were a few 
embers. The woman seeing that I was quite wet, im- 



OF MISS EMMA COLE. » 

mediately bnilt a good fire and I sat down by it. I could 
not help thinking of my situation. She saw that I was 
much embarrassed, and invited me to her supper ta- 
ble. I thankfully accepted her invitation. After supper 
she made a bed for me before the fire, and laying myself 
down, I could not sleep, my mind being so much affected 
by my situation. At last I fell into a profound slumber, 
and did not awake until aroused by the old lady's prep- 
arations for breakfast, which was a very meagre aff'air, 
but of which I partook with her. She then wished to 
know how I happened to get lost. I now informed her 
of my situation ; she sympathized with me much. I 
could not conceive how those articles came in my trunk, 
unless that villain had placed them there to ruin me ; the 
old lady thought that his intention in pursuing this course 
was to drive me from the town to save his own rep- 
utation. I did not know what to do or where to 
go ; it would not do for me to stay here and live oh 
the old lady, for she had told me her situation. She was 
once rich and happy; 'her husband lost his fortune 
in the last war, which worried him so that it threw him 
into a consumption, and he died, leaving her nearly pen- 
niless. Her friends almost entirely forgot her, and very 
seldom called on her, and in but few instances offered her 
the least assistance. She was much surprised at their cool 
treatment, and therefore chose to retire from their soci- 
ety, rather than to be so neglected by them ; so she ob- 
tained this hovel of a place, and had supported herself here 
by her own industry. " It is true, I have fared hard," 
she said, " but I have not had to be dependent on any of 
my pretended friends, or those that I considered my true 
friends, when kind providence filled our storehouses 



10 LIFE AND SUFFERINGS 

to overflowing; but who, when misfortunes came on 
me, fled and left me to wander alone." The old 
lady wished me to remain longer, but 1 could not con- 
sent, knowing that it would take from her small pittance, 
which she had provided for a long cold winter ; so I 
took my leave of her. She gave me good advice, and 
warned me to take heed of my character, for one false 
step might precipitate me in the deepest abyss of misery; 
that I must expect to find a rough and uneven path to 
tread, at the best. In return, I declared that no tempta- 
tion could shake my resolution, or make me swerve from 
the paths of rectitude. She seemed much pleased to 
find that I resolved to lean to virtue's side, even at the 
hazard of my life. I thanked her much for her kind- 
ness, for truly the poor widow's mite was much to me. 
Having left her hospitable roof, I determined to set 
out on foot for Bangor, and arrived there after a day's 
journey, much fati^gued. Being now penniless, I had 
to beg the favor in an obscure house of a night's lodg- 
ing. In the morning I went in quest of employment, 
and began to think I should find none, when a lady 
informed me that a female was wanted to attend some 
ladies on their passage to Boston, and the oflTer having 
been made me of the situation, I gladly accepted it. 
There were several ladies on board, one of whom wished 
to engage me as a domestic in her house when we 
should arrive in Boston. I gladly accepted the ofler, 
and on our arrival in Boston, accompanied her to her 
house. She kindly supplied me with clothes, and did 
much to make me happy, and while under her roof I 
felt that I had again a mother. But a bitter draught 
was soon to be handed me. I learnt that my best of 



OF MISS EMMA COLE. 11 

friends was about to visit Europe, to be absent for a 
few years ; consequently, my services were not wanted 
any longer. Before her deparfUre she presented me 
with clothing, and procured me another place at service. 
The name of the family where I now went to hve was 
Haden. At this place my duties were very arduous, 
but I bore them as well as I could, being supported by 
that innate sense of rectitude which lias ever accompa- 
nied me, and feeling a sense of satisfactory pride, that 
I was earning my livelihood, and was not a dependent 
on others. I had been at this place about a year, and 
had not taken up any of my wages ; Avhen one day I 
heard that Haden had become a bankrupt. 1 then 
requested a settlement of Mrs. Haden, who informed 
me that all their effects had been put into the hands of 
their creditors, and she could not pay me a farthing, 
and that they were in a few days to break up house- 
keeping. 

Thus I was again obliged lo find a home. I took 
board, and during the time that I was in search of a 
situation, had to part with every article I could spare 
of my scanty clothing, to defray the expenses of my 
board. I daily visited the intelligence offices, but found 
no suitable place ; until one day^ I being at the office, 
an elderly lady alighted from a carriage and stepped 
into the office. She said she was in search of a girl 
as a help in her family. She addressed me, and was 
quite inquisitive as to who and what I was, and 
where I came from. I replied to her, that I was 
destitute, and an orphan. She seemed satisfied 
with my answers, and the wages having been agreed 
on, she bade me follow her into her carriage, which 



12 LIFE AND SUFFERINGS 

Stopped at a fine looking house in Eliot street, at the 
south part of the city. On entering, I observed a num- 
ber of good looking young ladies, to whom I was intro- 
duced as her friends. I was informed that my duty 
would be to take charge of two or three sleeping apart- 
ments. The ladies gave me to understand, that as some 
gentlemen were to call that evening, I might retire if I 
chose, but would like to have me present the next 
evening. I thanked them for the privilege of retiring, 
and went to bed quite early, for I did not wish to see 
their company. 

On entering my chamber, I closed and made secure 
the door, then looked beneath the bed and in the closets 
to see that all was right. Having satisfied myself, I 
went to bed, and began to recall to my mind the numer- 
ous hardships I had gone through, for one so young, 
and hoping that a better fate awaited me ; not dream- 
ing that any fresh misfortunes were near at hand, or 
but that I was perfectly secure in my new situation. 
It was quite late when I fell asleep. I had not been 
asleep long, when I was awakened by voices in an ad- 
joining room ; the parties appeared to be angry, and 
used many oaths, but I could not distinguish what was 
said. This alarmed me so much that I could not close my 
eyes in sleep again the remainder of the night. I feared 
I had got into a house of disreputable character ; and I 
determined to watch every movement, and if I discover- 
ed it to be so, to leave it at once. Things seemed to go on 
smoothly the next day, and on asking one of the girls 
the occasion of the noise the last night, she told me that 
the street door having been inadvertently left open that 
night, a drunken fellow had mistaken his way and 



OF MISS EMMA COLE. 13 

entered the house, and this occasioned the noise I had 
heard. I did not credit this account, but said nothing 
more about it. 

At last, evening came once more, and the old lady 
told me that a rich yoiuig man of her acquaintance, 
from the South, was expected there that evening, and 
she desired me to be very attentive to wait on him, and 
be particular not to displease him, as he was of a pas- 
sionate temper, and yet was a very fine fellow, and 
always made presents when he called. I promised to 
do my duty. In the evening he arrived, and occasion- 
ally there came in other young men. I scrutinized 
their appearance and conduct very narrowly. 

After a while the old lady's relative from the South 
complained of being unwell, and I was desired to show 
him to an apartment where he might sleep. Having 
shown him up to his room, I was about to retnrn, when 
I was seized by him and dragged into his chamber. 
He then told me it would be useless for me to resist, as 
I was completely in his power, aud gave me the horri- 
ble intelligence of the character of the house I was in. 
I fell on my knees, and begged him to spare a friendless 
orphan; that I had no knowledge of the kind of house 
I was in, and implored him to pity me, and let me in- 
stantly depart. He replied by laughing, and saying 
there was no use of whining about it. 1 could perceive 
protruding from his vest the handle of a dirk. Despair 
now seized me, and while in his grasp, I made a sudden 
movement and snatched the dagger from his breast; 
this disengaged him, and I then warned him not to 
approach me, or I should take his life. He made an 
attempt to get the weapon from me,' but with my whole 
2 



14 LIFE AND SUFFERINGS 

muscular strength I made a thrust at him, wliich sent 
the weapon in to its hilt. He fell, and uttered a deep 
groan. I quickly unlocked the door, and catching my 
shawl as I passed down the stairs, made my way out 
of the house as soon as I could. L expected that I must 
certainly have killed him, and my feelings can better 
be imagined than described. I at once determined to 
return to the house at which I had been boarding be- 
fore I was inveigled into that house of abomination. 
By good luck I easily found it. The door was un- 
locked, and perceiving company in the house, I went 
to the room which I had occupied, and retired to bed, 
trembling, and a cold clammy sweat standing on my 
face, and scarcely daring to indulge the thought of 
what had just passed. I soon heard some one coming 
up to my chamber, and I feigned to be asleep. It was 
the landlady ; she approached and si)nke to me. I ap- 
peared to awake. She seemed pleased to see me, and 
wished to know when I returned from my visit. I told 
her I had returned early that evening, but observing 
that she had friends to see her, I did not like to mtrude, 
especially as 1 was a stranger. She supposed I had 
been on a visit to some friends, and inquired if I en- 
joyed myself. I told her I had been rather unwell, and 
did not enjoy my visit so much as I otherwise should. 
Making a few more friendly remarks, she bade me good 
night, and I was left to reflect on my miserable situa- 
tion. Sleep did not close my eyelids that night. 

It was now evident that my condition was a desper- 
ate one, and that my cup of woe was full ; I had never 
before been so miserable. I was at a loss what course 
to pursue. It was evident that if 1 had killed the man, 



OF MISS EMMA COLE. _ 15 

the old woman and her friends would be witnesses 
against me, and although it was not known where I 
had fled, it would be an easy matter to find me. I was 
consoled by the thought, that if I had killed the man, 
it was in defence of my honor, which I valued more 
than life. A thousand schemes floated in my mind that 
night; at length, towards morning I conceived the bold 
idea of exchanging my clothes for a sailor's, and en- 
deavoring to procure the berth of cook on board some 
vessel, whither bbund was of little consequence to me. 

Having got up, I dressed myself with as little cloth- 
ing as I could to appear decent, and took the remainder 
to a cast-oflf clothing shop, and readily exchanged them. 
Having procured the sailor's dress, I packed it up 
snugly and carried it to my lodgings, and went to my 
chamber, put (m the clothes, which fitted me as well as 
if they had been made itct me. I then put on my wo- 
man's clothes again, and went to a barber and had my 
hair cut off", which I sold to him. I then settled with 
the landlady for my board. 

My imagined difficulty now was to get an apportu- 
nity to ship on board a vessel. But a chance soon 
presented itself, as the cook engogcd in a certain vessel 
had been taken sick, I was taken in his place; the 
wages were to be ten dollars a month, and the voyage 
to Europe. She sailed on the same day I shipped, and 
I felt much relieved on quitting Boston, which had been 
the scene of that awful tragedy, in v/hich I was doomed 
to play so conspicuous a part. I had not yet seen our 
captain ; the owner and the mate having engaged me. 
On asking where Captain Gregory was, (that was his 
name,) I was told that he was on board, b;.it was rather 



16 LIFE AND SUFFERINGS 

unwell. As we passed the light-houses and were stand- 
ing out to sea, I overheard the first and second mate 
conversing about the cai)tain, when one of them ob- 
served, that he had got stabbed the night before, by a 
girl, and mentioned the street and the circumstances. 

It was now evident to me, that the captain was the 
same individual I had encountered at the afore-men- 
tioned liouse of ill fame. I was confouiided again with 







my extraordinary situation ; an evil genius seemed to 
pursue me. I must now be confined by this demon, 
and he my master. But desponding would be useless, 
and I resolved to muster courage, and trust in that kind 
Providence that had already rescued me from so many 
impending dangers. I was at first a little sea-sick, but 
soon recovered, and went about my work with as much 
familiarity as I could, and endeavoring to imitate the 
voice of a man as much as possible. 

After we had been out about twenty days, the Cap- 
tain had so far recovered that he appeared upon deck. 
He did not recognize his intended victim, through my 
disguise, and often spoke of the girl, and said she had 
done right, although it had nearly cost him his life. 
The vessel being old, it was resolved to repair her on 



OP MTSS EMMA COLE. 17 

her arrival in London. We arrived in port, and the 
Captain gave us leave to quit the vessel's service if we 
wished, as it would take two or more months time to 
repair her. For my part I was rejoiced to leave the 
vessel, which I did at once. 

I wandered about the streets of London for about a 
day, in search of employment, but found none ; and 
my only alternative was to go to sea again. Having 
procured myself some clothing and other necessary arti- 
cles,! shipped in the brig Juba, destined for New Orleans, 
having been in London ten days. For several days 
after we left port we had a very fair wind, and nothing 
unusual occurred to disturb the monotony of the voyage. 

One afternoon, we saw a sail at a distance, which 
was approaching us. At first no fears were entertained 
in regard to her character ; but as she neared us, we 
began to suspect her. The Captain ordered all sail to 
be hoisted, which was done. We were now com- 
manded to put ourselves in a situation of defence, which 
we did with the scanty means that the vessel afforded. 
But the wind springiug up, we began to distance her. 
Night coming on, attended by a squall, we changed our 
course, and kept no lights to be seen, hoping by this 
means to elude her. But as morning dawned she was 
still in sight, and the wind had greatly subsided. She 
gained on us fast, and about ten o'clock in the forenoon 
came along, and sent us a broadside salute, which car- 
ried away our mainmast. We were now very near 
one another. We fought with such arms as the vessel 
afforded, until there were but three souls left alive to 
defend her. It being useless to contend longer, we 
ceased, and the vessel being boarded, we expected no 
2# 



18 LIFE AND SUFFERINGS OF MISS EMMA COLE. 

quarters. The pirates, however, after having plun- 
dered and scuttled our vessel, and taken us to their 
own, offered us the alternative of joining their gang, 
and of swearing faithfulness to them, — or death. Be- 
tween these we must instantly decide. My two com- 
rades did not long hesitate to join them. 

In this awful situation, I uttered a fleeting prayer to 
God for strength to make my decision. Heaven an- 
swered my appeal, and enabled me resolutely to declare 
to the murderers, that I preferred death rather than 
shed a fellow-being's blood, except in defence of life. 
This enraged them, and I was dragged by my hair to 
the yard-arm, and there secured. Why I was not de- 
spatched at once T did not know, unless I was reserved 
'for a subject of torture. 

They had scarcely finished binding me, when a sud- 
den gust of wind struck the vessel, and laid her on her 
beam-ends, but she soon resumed her position. A vio- 
lent storm had been coming on, which now broke upon 
us. with great violence, and which on the second day, 
had driven us in sight of land, which proved to be an 
island. Death now stared every one in the face, which 
to me was far more welcome than to unite myself with 
these fiends in the likeness of men, and shed innocent 
blood for the sake of gold. As the vessel neared the 
shore, the anchors were thrown out, but the cables 
parted, and imminent death was before us. The Cap- 
tain ordered me to be unbound, for he said we should 
all be in eternity soon. I was then unbound. The 
sea ran very high, but the vessel striking upon a sandy 
shore, by a kind Providence we were all saved. She 
soon after went to pieces, and we were left on an ap- 




Emma, as a sailor, captured oh the high seas, and bound by Pirates. 
See opposite page. 



20 LIFE AND SUFFERINGS 

The pirates now began to be affected by a different 
feeling towards me than they had before entertained. 
The principle of virtue and humanity, which actuated 
me, seemed to have its benign effects, even on their 
flinty and murderous hearts. They were witnesses 
that I chose death at their hands, rather than steep my 
own in the warm blood of a fellow being. I treated 
them kindly, and savage as were their natures, I was 
used much better than my two former comrades who 
had joined their gang. 

We had not been long in this situation, when we 
were visited by a small party of Indians, from a neigh- 
boring island. They appeared of a friendly character, 
and observing we were destitute of provisions, supplied 
us from their own. A bloody tragedy was again to be 
enacted by the heartless pirates. The canoes and other 
articles belonging to the Indians were wantBd by the 
pirates, and engaging in a slight dispute with them, the 
whole crew fell upon and butchered them all. As I 
was obliged to be a silent spectator of this cruel and 
most inhuman deed, my blood seemed to congeal in my 
veins, my pulse to cease its throbbing, and my whole 
faculties to be paralyzed. But there was no escaping 
from my situation. 

After this slaughter, they took the canoes of the na- 
tives, together with their weapons, and expected, thus 
equipped, to be able lo capture some defenceless vessel, 
when one should heave in sight. Two days elapsed, 
and a vessel was descried at a distance. It being calm, 
we all got into the canoes and made towards her. On 
reaching her, she appeared to be a merchantman, from 
the African coast, with 'gold dust and other valuables. 



OF MISS EMMA COLE. 21 

and bound for London. On being made acqnainted 
that we had just been shipwrecked, we were received 
by them and treated with great kindness. 

When the pirates had discovered the value of the 
cargo, a plan was concerted to murder the whole of the 
vessel's crew, and take possession of the vessel. The 
moment at length arrived for the insurrection. At a 
signal they arose,' but were promptly met by the ves- 
sel's crew, who it seems had been suspicious of their 
designs all the while. There was a desperate struggle 
between the parties, but the pirates were at last con- 
quered, without any loss of life. We were all put in 
chains; but were treated much better than I could have 
expected. I now considered my destiny fixed, and that 
no better fate awaited me than death, for there seemed 
to be no chance of escape. It was thirty-six days be- 
fore we arrived at London. 

Perhaps the reader may imagine in some degree the 
state of my feelings during the voyage. An orphan, 
penniless, friendless, and hurdled with a gang of bloody 
desperadoes, I was confined day and night, and com- 
pelled to listen to their blasphemy, as they cursed the 
protecting hand of heaven, that had arrested them in 
their guilty career. Thpugh life be desirable, as it is 
ordinarily possessed, yet I could pray that mine might 
cease at once, rather than have lived much longer in 
the situation wherein I was placed. My hand had not 
been raised against the friendly mariners, by whom we 
had been so kindly received. My only trust was in 
Him to whom the most secret thoughts and actions of 
all are visible. 

My jjmbs were much galled by the irons with which 



22 LIFE AND SUFFERINGS 

1 was bound, yet I did not murmur, though I could 
hardly stand. My resignation to this hard fate seemed 
to slightly affect my hardened companions, who knew 
that I was suffering unjustly. 

When we arrived at London, we were thrown into 
damp cells, and there lay several weeks awaiting our 
trials. At last the eventful time arrived for us to be 
arraigned. The captain was first tried, and condemned 
to be hung, then the rest were severally tried, and re- 
ceived the same sentence. Being but a youth, my case 
was reserved until the last. This was an awful and 
critical moment for me. Standing before a judge, in 
the presence of a jury that were sworn to acquit or 
condemn according to the testimony, I knew my case 
to be hopeless, unless there should be discovered one 
spark of pity or humanity in the hearts of the con- 
demned' wretches, who were soon to stand before a 
higher tribunal, and receive the sentence of the Judge 
of Heaven. On being asked what I had to say in my 
behalf, with much emotion I replied, that I was inno- 
cent of the crime alleged against me, and that if those 
that had been condemned could be induced to speak 
the truth for me, it was all I could ask. After a few 
moments of breathless silence, during which my 
destiny was decided, the pirate captain arose, and 
asking permission, said he had a few words to say 
before the court proceeded further. He then related 
how I had -come among them, my refusal to partici- 
pate in their bloody designs, and other particulars in 
relation to my situation. The mate confirmed the cap- 
tain's story. By this voluntary act of benevolence on 
the part of the condemned, I was acquitted and set at 



OP MISS EMMA COLE, ^3 

liberty. Indeed, my signal deliverance seemed like a 
miracle performed by lieaven, to signify its regard for 
truth and justice. Truly, I did not expect these life 
giving words from those who had, but a few months 
before, murdered my companions, and having bound 
me, were about to add me to the number of their vic- 
tims. The condemned, nine in all, were solemnly exe- 
cuted. Awful fate! I could not avoid the reflection, 
of what would be the contrast in their situation, had 
they like me, made rigJit their governing principle^ and 
have partaken of the bitter draught of woe, rather than 
have quaffed from the poisonous cup of sin. 

Again in the streets of London, I wandered about, 
until I found an opportunity to ship as cook to Boston, 
We had a pleasant, but rather long voyage. We ar- 
rived on the I9th of May, 1794, after I had been absent 
a considerable time, and had passed through many 
hardships and hair breadth escapes. I had become 
weary of this roving life, having neither brother or 
friend to sympathize with me, in moments of trial, and 
being constantly alarmed that the character of my sex 
would be discovered, although by this time T had so 
well acquired the air and tone of voice of the sailor, 
that the character seemed familiar to me. I had but a 
few dollars left after all my hardships, and my health ' 
beginning to decline, I kept myself for several days 
conlined, and had abundant time for reflection. But 
the more I meditated the worse my situation seemed, 
and I almost gave myself up to despair. I was not 
able to labor with men, nor was I skilled in needle- 
work, and having a neglected education, was not quali- 
fied to establish a school. I should have sunk under 



24 LIFE AND SUFFERINGS 

tliis weight of sorrow, had I not heard many who 
crossed my path complahi of their hard lot, even when 
they possessed the common comforts and friendships of 
life. Alas, what wonld have been their nuirnnn'S had 
they hke me been nursed in penury, and rocked in the 
cradle of affliction ! By their ingratitude I gatiiered 
new strength, and was resolved at least to be content 
with my situation, though I sliould beg for bread from 
door to door. 

One day as I was in search of some employment, 
and was passing the court-house, I observed a crowd 
of people pressing in at the door. My curiosity being 
aroused to learn the cause of this excitement, I placed 
myself among the mass, and was carried along by the 
vortex until I reached the court chamber. An mvolun- 
tary shudder came over me, as 1 remembered the mel- 
ancholy fate of those unhappy men, and my own prov- 
idential deliverance, at a similar tribunal in London. 
The prisoner had not yet been brought into court. 
After a while he arrived, attended by an officer; and 
judge of my horror on recognising in his bloated fea- 
tures, the same Captain Gregory, who attempted my 
ruin, and who had been the principal cause of all my 
subsequent sulierings. The captain, it seems, had be- 
come dissipated, and had lost the confidence of his em- 
ployers. He had in a turn of drunkenness quarrelled 
with his landlord; of whom he liad had his liquor, and 
killed him. Although the evidence Avas conclusive 
against him, his jury rendered a verdict of man- 
slaughter in the first degree. Thus would the wretch 
probably escape with a (c\v years incarceration in the 
state prison. But methinks life must be a galling bur- 




OF MISS EMMA COLE. 

den to such a being, for conscience, that inward moni- 
tor, seldom shimbers in its office, but with an unerring 
index directs the obUvious memory to its own record of 
the cankered and guiUy soul. 

One beautiful morning I went down upon one of the 
projecting wharves in the harbor. The sun had just 
arisen. The weather was mild and pleasant, and the 
view of the harbor was extremely beautiful, there being 
just enough wind to waft the vessels inward. I was 
delighted with the calm beauty of nature spread out 
before me. As I was contemplating these objects, I ob- 
served not far from me a gentleman and lady richly 
clad, with a little girl about three years of age. Their 
minds appeared to be engrossed with admiration of the 
beauties spread out before them. As they strolled 
along, the child wandered a moment from their side, 
when suddenly the noise of its fall into the water was 
heard. So sudden was the transition of their minds 
from joy to terror, that they stood paralyzed by the 
suddenness of the fearful catastrophe. There was no 
other person near. I expected the father to plunge in 
and rescue her. I saw her rise, then sink again, and 
all was still as the grave ; once more she appeared and 
sank. I resolved to make an effort for her when she 
again appeared, though I should perish with her. I 
knew this would be the last opportunity to save her. 
Her parents in their paroxyisms of agony wept aloud. 
The gurgling of the water now indicated that she was 
approaching the surface, and for the last time. Throw- 
ing off my jacket, I plunged in, and had the good for- 
tune to catch her as she arose, and placing her in a 
situation to enable me to swim as well as possible, 
3 



26 LIFE AND SUFFERINGS 

made my way to a boat, a few rods distant, lifting her 
into this, I got in myself Disengaging the boat, I suc- 
ceeded in mooring it to the wharf, and having landed 
with my prize, placed it in the arms of its now joyful 
parents. Their happiness was as sudden and intense 
as was their grief but a moment before. They show- 
ered upon me every possible demonstration ' of their 
gratitude. The father tendered to me the contents of 
his purse, and the lady taking a watch from her side 
begged me to accept it. But I declined a pecuniary re- 
muneration, and replied, that I had done nothing more 
than my duty. Again, I was entreated to accept a re- 
ward, as they were wealthy, but I refused, replying 
that I did not hazard my own life for money. Upon 
this I was handed their address, and requested, after 
changing niy clothing,' to call upon them. I answered, 
that 1 should suffer no inconvenince from the water in 
my clothes ; but they insisted that 1 should do as they 
requested, and call on them in an hour. I nodded 
assent to the latter proposition, and the gentleman re- 
quested me as I passed up the wharf, to send down his 
carriage which stood at the head of it. I did so. 

In about an hour I went by the direction of the card 
to 91 Tremont street, which appeared an elegant estab- 
lishment. I rang the door bell, and a servant appeared, 
of whom I inquired if Mr. Brown was at home, and 
was answered in the affirmative, but that he was en- 
gaged ; by this time Mr. Brown had come to the door, 
and extending his hand, gave me a cordial reception. 
The child had now so far recovered as to be able to 
run about. He observed to me, that I had not changed 
my wet clothes, and seemed apprehensive lest I should 



OF MISS EMMA COLE. 27 

get a cold by neglecting it, and thought that I was an 
obstinate-headed fellow. I told him that was probably 
the case in some instances. He wished me to explain 
my jneaning. I then made him acquainted with my 
destitute condition, and that I was not the owner of a 
change of clothing, and had but a few shillings in the 
world to buy food with. This account much excited 
his compassion, and he inquired next where I lodged. 
I told him it was with a poor family in an obscure part 
of the city. He said that I must go with him in a few 
moments and get a new suit of clothes ; this I at first 
refused, but by his kind solicitations at last consented 
to receive. I was now informed that a situation would 
be provided for me in his store, and that I was to live 
in his family. I told him that such a blunt person as 
myself would make a ridicuous figure as a member of 
his family ; that being left an orphan at a tender age, 
and always having to labor hard, I was ashamed of 
my bad education. I was informed that I should no 
longer be an orphan, if 1 would only look upon them 
as parents and guardians. Yielding to that powerful 
instinct in our nature, sympathy, and being intoxicated 
by the vision of friends and a happy home, I consented 
to comply with their urgent requests. Their treatment 
of me was the same as though I had been their child. 
Their lives were an exemplification of true Christian 
charity. 

.Having been with them a number of days, I thought 
best now to come out in my own true colors, and dis- 
cover who and what I was. But this was a delicate 
business. I pondered it in my mind for several days, 
not daring to divulge the whole truth, fearing that they 



28 LIFE AND SUFFERINGS 

might not credit my story, but think I had disguised 
myself for some dishonorable purpose. But my virtue 
and truth I meant to maintain, and if the recital of my 
history should lessen me in their estimation, and I 
should be discarded by them, I should at least be as 
well off as I was before their hospitable reception. 
After I had made up my mind to this effect, I was un- 
der great anxiety on many accounts, such as how I 
should appear in a female garb, and how soften the 
masculine tone my voice had acquired. 

Not knowing how my story might be received, I ob- 
tained one evening, the consent of the family to listen 
to it after supper. The appointed time came, and with 
an anxious heart I commenced. I first acquainted 
them with the poverty, sickness and death of my pa- 
rents, that I was their only child, — and that child was 
a female. At the mention of this they started, and 
looked at me with astonishment. Begging them to 
calm their emotions, I proceeded with an account of 
myself while in the Smith family, and the cause of my 
leaving them, together with every essential particular 
in my history. They listened with much curiosity and 
solicitude. When I had finished, instead of upbraiding 
me, they showed every mark of tenderness and affec- 
tion for me. They pledged themselves that I should 
not want so long as providence was bountiful to them. 
I now felt the force of his remark, when Mr. Brown 
called on us to witness, that truth and virtue would in 
the end vindicate their celestial nature, and come out 
from the warfare with vice and error unscathed and 
victorious. 

I was asked if I should not like to change my dress, 



OF MISS EMMA COLE. 29 

for that of a female. I replied that 1 should be greatly- 
rejoiced to do so, especially as I had now found protect- 
ing friends. I was soon provided with a stock of rich 
clothing. My dress now appeared as odd to me as 
when I first put on male attire. Whilst my hair re- 
mained short, I supplied my head with false braids. I 
was sent to school, and every care taken to make me 
an ornament in society. O what a contrast was this to 
my situation, when bound by pirates, and death im- 
pending over me ; or while standing among criminals, 
awaiting the sentence of tbeir awful doom. 

Time passed on, and I had been at my studies about 
a year and a half. By this time I had worn away my 
masculine manners, and my voice had assumed its nat- 
ural tone. One day as I walking down Washing- 
ton street, in company with Mr. Brown and wife, we 
noticed a young man on the opposite side staggering 
about, apparently much intoxicated. As soon as I saw 
his face, I recognized the person who had attempted' 
my dishon®r while I was in the Smith family. I ac- 
qainted my benefactors of this, and Mr. Brown accost- 
ing a young man with whom he was acquainted, de- 
sired him to follow the fellow and ascertain as much as 
he could in relation to him. 

On our return home in a few hours, we found the 
young man of Mr. Brown's acquaintance, waiting to 
give us the desired information. He said, that from 
Washington street he had followed him into several low 
tippling shops in Hatter's Square, and Ann street, 
&c. In one of those groggeries he inquired if they 
knew anytliing about the fellow, and was informed 
that he boarded there, or at least received his food for 
3* 



30 LIFE AND SUFFERINGS 

his services in going on errands, and the Uke for them ; 
that he was a miserable drunkard, and that they should 
like to be rid of him ; that he had been several times in 
the House of Correction, and that he would be there 
again soon, and that this was the only fit place for him; 
that he sometimes got a job of wood sawing, when he 
was sober. Mr. Brown was anxious to converse with 
him, and sent for him to come and saw his wood. He 
came and commenced his work. After a few moments, 
Mr. Brown sent word he wished to see him, and de- 
sired him to enter the house. He came in, and on 
being asked if his name was Hackley answered in the 
affirmative, and that he had long resided in the state of 
Maine, though he was a native of the state of New- 
York. He was asked if he was ever acquainted with 
a poor family by the name of Cole. He said he once 
knew such a family, in which was an only daughter; 
that the parents were dead ; that no one knew any- 
thing about the child, except that shortly after her dis- 
appearance one night from her adopted home, intelli- 
gence was received that she had reached a poor 
widow's cottage late on one rainy night. 

1 now asked him if he -could inform us of the cause 
of her singular conduct 7 At this question he cast a 
wild glance at me, and for sometime was silent. I 
thought he had recognized me. Breaking silence, with 
a deep sigh, he replied that he was the only soul that 
knew the cause — but that he would that the grave had 
closed over him ere he had become acquainted with it. 
I asked him if he thought he should recognize her if he 
could see her. He said he thought he should ; but that 
she must have died long since. On being asked if he 



OF MISS EMMA COLE. 31 

would like to see her, he said it would afford him the 
greatest pleasure. 

Mr. Brown now called me by name, and desired me 
to advance towards them, and pointing at me, said that 
I was the young orphan in question. Upon this he fell 
senseless to the floor. Restoratives being applied, he 
gradually revived ; and looking wildly around, he im- 
agined lie had been in a dream. At length, perceiving 
the reality of his situation, he fell at my feet, confessed 
that he had tried his utmost to ruin me, and because 
he could not succeed, had been the cause of my being 
turned out of doors. He beseeched, he entreated me to 
forgive him. I gave him my forgiveness freely. He 
confessed that nothing had prospered with him, but 
that he had been cursed of God ever since that event. 
Asking our consent to give a brief sketch of his life, he 
commenced. 

" My parents, during my minority, resided in New 
York. They had always been in comfortable circum- 
stances; and a large legacy from a rich relative in 
England placed them in an affluent condition. But 
the suddenness of the possession of this fortune caused 
them to squander it away in fashionable amusements, 
and a thousand other vanities. My father at length 
being awakened to a sense of the state of his sinking 
fortune, resolved to remove from a society among whoni 
he could not much longer maintain his former station. 
He accordingly removed to the state of Maine, and en- 
gaged in the lumber business. I had two sisters, who 
with my mother, felt, when they departed eastward, 
that they had forsaken the world, and were leaving 
behind them all that makes life desirable. 



32 LIFE AND SUFFERINGS 

" On arriving in Maine, my father entered largely in 
the trade of lumber, and in a few years acquired con- 
siderable wealth. Myself and sisters were indulged in 
idleness, and were much pampered by our parents. I 
grew vain, and was indignant at any effort to oppose 
my desires. When my attempt of violence upon 3'our 
person had failed, I resolved to ruin your character, 
that you might not expose me, and accordingly was the 
author of that hellish plot by which you was turned 
out of doors. I exulted for a while, but remorse soon 
followed, and conscience was ever reminding me what 
a merciless wretch I had been. Though repentance 
came, it was too late to undo what had passed. In 
about two years both of my parents died, leaving me 
considerable property. T went into business, but every 
speculation I made turned out badly. It seemed that 
a curse rested upon me. I then took to the accursed 
wine cup, in order to drown my sorrows. I now made 
worse speculations than ever, and my fortune was 
nearly gone ; when one day being much intoxicated, 
advantage was taken of my situation, and I was in- 
duced to endorse a note for several thousand dollars, 
and before its maturity the maker failed, and every 
thing being taken from me, I found myself several 
hundred dollars in debt. Now I was penniless, now I 
was friendless ; for what friends I had not estranged by 
ill treatment, left me at this last blow. I hung around 
the grogshops as long as I could be allowed. A vessel 
coming to Boston, some townsmen offered to pay my 
passage if I would quit the place, and not let them see 
me for at least a year. I consented, though not with- 
out a small sense of shame at my degraded situation. 



OF MISS EMMA COLE. 33 

1 traced the source of all this misery to the injury I had 
inflicted upon you. But I had only tasted of the bitter 
draught that was preparing .for me. We arrived in 
Boston, and wandering about until it was nearly night, 
seeking employment but finding none, I began to pon- 
der on my wretched situation, and coming to a place 
where temptation is held out to the poor inebriate, 
I could not resist the enticing draught, which I took, 
and taking a few cents from my remaining shilling, 
cast them down and departed. 

" At length I obtained lodging and board at a cheap 
establishment, and worked whenever people would em- 
ploy me, which was only when I was sober, and that 
was rarely the case. I dragged along for a while in 
this way, being scarcely able to pay my board, and 
find myself in liquor. My appetite for strong drink_in- 
creasing, I gave way to it, and attended to but little 
business. I could not now pay my board and supply 
the cravings of my appetite for strong drink, and be- 
coming indebted for them both, I was twice arraigned 
as a vagabond and drunkard at the bar of your police, 
and sent to the House of Correction. I made no com- 
plaint against your municipal laws, though it seemed 
rather hard to me that such inducements to dissipation 
and ruin should be so publicly sanctioned. Alas, I have 
ruined myself, and there is not the least hope left me. 
But I ought not complain, for the just visitings of God 
are upon me." 

And concluding his brief narrative, he buried his face 
in his hands, and wept tears of repentance. I could 
not help feeling compassion for him under this load of 
misery, notwithstandihg he had been the cause of all 



34 LIFE AND SUFFERINGS 

my woes. But for him I might never have wanted 
friends, and a home? Yet the hand that had supported 
me, compelled him to partake of the bitter draught he 
had prepared for me, and drain it even to the -dregs. 
He was now broken-hearted and penitent. 

My benefactors were touched with compassion at the 
sight of so much misery, and procured him a boarding 
place. But his diseased and wrecked frame did not 
support itself only about a month after this. As he lay 
upon his death-bed he sent for us to come and see hirp. 
When we entered the room, he took me by his cold 
and death-like hand and again besought me to forgive 
him. I replied, that I had long since done so. His 
features brightening, he thanked me and exclaimed ; 
"O do not forsake the path of virtue, and you will 
surely be happy. O that I had never forsaken it ; alas, 
the way of the transgressor is hard. There is no peace 
to the wicked. Would that I could live my life over 
again. But it is too late. I shall soon be before my 
Judge, and receive my due reward." His horrid fea- 
tures betrayed the most intense agony of mind ; a few 
more convulsions, and he passed into eternity. As I 
gave a parting glance at his lifeless remains, soon to be 
returned to their mother earth, I could not forbear the 
reflection of what would have been his present sit- 
uation, had he fulfilled the objects of existence de- 
signed by his Creator, and been an instrument of good 
rather than evil to those around him, and a blessing to 
himself 

Time passed happily on, and I was much respected 
and beloved by my adopted parents. At length I be- 
came acquainted with a young man by the name of 



OF MISS EMMA COLE. 35 

Hanson. I noticed a growing attachment on his part 
for me, and observing a similar feeling increasing with 
myself, I resolved to put an end to the intimacy. He 
begged permission to address me, but I declined, say- 
ing that I was but a poor orphan, and that he was rich 
and had been reared in a diiferent rank of society from 
myself that being affluent and handsome he could 
have his choice among the many thousand fair ones ; 
that by wedding me he might regret his choice, and I 
advised him to abandon the thought. He replied, if 
that is the case let me have my choice, for you are the 
one and only one I should select, and to no one else 
could J oifer my heart. He wished me to meditate on 
it, and consult my friends. On making my new pa- 
rents acquainted with all that had transpired, they ex- 
tolled him highly, and encouraged our union ; and in 
about four months we were married. 

I lived in wedlock happy and content. Providence 
blest our union with four children. Thirty-three years 
of married life passed smoothly away, and we had not 
a sorrow to mar our happiness. Jt had always been 
my study and delight to train up my offspring in the 
paths of virtue and uprightness, instilling early into 
their young minds the importance of obeying the divine 
commands, and the fearful consequences of the least 
disobedience. 

It is with mingled emotions of pleasure and pain that 
1 look back on my past life. The path of my early 
years was indeed strewn with thorns; and along its 
mazy and rugged labryinth I can descry yawning pits, 
into which I should inevitably have been engulfed, had 
not virtue been my guide, constantly admonishing me of 



36 LIFE AND SUFFERINGS OF MISS EMMA COLE. 

the impending dangers by which I was surrounded. 
Yet I put my trust in my heavenly Father. 

I am now in the vale of years. My children have 
all married, and are prospering. Having exposed my- 
self to so, many hardships while young, I feel that my 
health is fast declining, and that I must soon quit the 
busy stage of life. 

I have now accomplished the object I had long de- 
sired, that of laying before the youth of both sexes, a 
brief narrative of my life, in which they may see, that 
however well vice and wrong-floing may prosper for a 
time, in the end it brings its own woe ; and that virtue 
alone can guard and render them happy in this world, 
and secure their felicity in another. 



Mrs. Emma Hanson died at the age of fifty-nine 
years and seven months, at her residence in Boston, 
and her loss was much lamented by a large circle of 
friends, to whom she was affectionately endeared. 





"I fell upon my knees and besought him to spare 
me, a poor friendless orphan." See page 13. 



„™'?'^"Y Of" CONGRESS 



018 597 435 2 



